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jeudi 14 avril 2011

As you were

I don't really have much inspiration tonight. It's late (2.20 am, I have to be up at 7.30 to take L to school...), I'm tired, I feel kind of sick (not sure why) and I just want to drift away to someplace else.

But this has been a strange week. On the one hand, C has been away since fuck-me-o'clock on Monday morning (I had to GET UP at 4.30 am to make her picnic, then get her up at 4.50 so she could leave with D at 5.30 for the station), on a school trip to Paris. She'll be home - exhausted beyond belief I should imagine - tomorrow evening at about 7 pm. They've done some wonderful things, and I know she'll have had a great time, but it really has been strange here without her. She suddenly seems so big these days, so "grown-up"...

On the other, in just under 2 weeks, my little L will be turning 7, whilst my daddy turns 80 today (14th) and my sweet cat Tom will be 14 on Friday. It's all a bit much to take in, to be honest. L can read pretty well now, she's gaining in independence, gaining in confidence, gaining in stroppiness too (WON'T GO TO SLEEP - Gaaaaaaahhhhh), but she's my littlest hobo and she'll be 7 in a fortnight. Blows my mind, actually.

At the same time, my dear daddy will be coming to visit at the end of the month, arriving just before L's birthday and staying till 5 May (which seems like a helluva long time to me - 9 nights on the sofa bed will kill my back). That means he'll also be here on the anniversary of that horrible, horrible day when D finally went totally insane and walked out, insulting me on the street, badmouthing me to our closest friends and ruining L's birthday party (for me, anyway) the next day. In some ways, it's good someone will be here because it means I won't be able to mope all day. On the other, it's a pain in the butt because - heh - I won't be able to mope all day.


That's all really, except that I'm back to listening to Train again - their more rock'n'roll first album this time though - because L has me all Glee-d out (she plays the one Glee CD we have INCESSANTLY) and, as usual, the lyrics speak to me: "they call me free, but I call me a fool...". Yeah. That sounds about right.

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