AtoZ Challenge: S...

...is for Shock.

I still find it hard to believe that not only does electroshock therapy still exist, but that in addition, I've had it. For me, it's something intrinsically linked to One flew over the cuckoo's nest (both the book and the film) and A clockwork orange (which I haven't read, only seen and which doesn't actually have electroshocks in it, just something kind of similar). It's not something that happens to people like me (whatever that means).

But it has. Happened, I mean, to someone like me, someone who is, in fact, me.

I've been told that it's made me "better" (again, whatever that means) but seriously, I feel no different, apart from the fact that my memory is shot to hell.

I used to have a good, if not excellent, memory. Now, I've forgotten the names of people I once knew well, I've forgotten events (for example, Y showed me photos of a trip we made down to Carnon back in the winter sometime, and I have no recollection of the trip at all), I've forgotten situations, facts, figures, all kinds of things. Dr H told me this memory would come back, but it's been a month since the last treatment and it hasn't come back so far.

I find the concept of zapping a person's brain with a jolt of electricity shocking, in every sense of the word. I don't think it's something that should be done to people, and I certainly won't be recommending it to anyone if they ask my opinion.

Shock is an excellent word; it's what I got (12 times) and it's what I am in.

If someone offers you the chance of having electroshocks as a way to "cure" your depression, or ease the symptoms of your bipolar disorder, DON'T DO IT!