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jeudi 14 mai 2009


16 days behind! Holy crap.

On the plus side, I have tidied my desk and quite a lot of my papers, I haven't eaten very much crap food out and about on my own (just once or twice, not bad in over a month) and I've remembered birthdays and stuff.

But I still get the feeling this challenge is, overall, a FAIL.

Plus, I turn 40 on MONDAY. That's 5 days, people. And I'm feeling OOOOOLLLLDDDDD.

But to catch up a little:
Day 21: tidy the bathroom.
Day 22: tidy the kitchen and get it sorted once and for all.
Day 23: try and stop moaning and complaining quite so much.
Day 24: try and tell my daughters sometime soon about their big sister and how important she is to me.
Day 25: try and make real, meaningful contact with C's schoolfriends' parents so she can have some chance of seeing them during the holidays. We've pretty much got it sussed for L, but for C it's proving much harder.
Day 26: organise a good summer holiday for the girls - rest time, activities, outings, friends...
Day 27: start wearing more jewellery and perhaps a little make-up (or am I going too far?!).
Day 28: make sure that I go to one professional conference or some such thing every year, just to get me some real "me time", like when I went to Lisbon last October.
Day 29: write down my memories as a souvenir for the girls - I have little close family, few photos, so I'll need to get things down in writing if they're to have any idea about my childhood, my family.
Day 30: try and put my creative urges to use, usefully (that's nice and vague, isn't it?!). I know I have it in me to "do" things, I just have to find that special thing...
Day 31: really start listening to music again (D can't work with music playing and I can't put music on when I work at night in case it wakes L up), as there must be times when I can start going through my CD collection again, instead of always listening to the same four or five (Madonna's "Confessions", U2 greatest hits, Neil Diamond (no, I'm not embarrassed AT ALL), Eric Satie and Lloyd Cole and the Commotions "Rattlesnake").
Day 32: book myself on to some kind of "sport" class (to replace my tai chi, so nothing too demanding, obviously).
Day 33: maybe even (very discreetly) take up driving again (now that I've found my driver's licence, lost since Feb 2006) and really surprise D, assuming we ever have a car that works again.
Day 34: go to the fabulous art museum here more often - I have a yearly subscription which is only valid if I go at least 5 times. I got my renewal today and have been once, so I now have 12 months for at least 4 visits. That should be doable, even by me...
Day 35: read at least one book in French every month (probably haven't read French lit since I tried Zola again way back in '99...).
Day 36: try and write on my blog more often (hmmmm...).

I feel like I'm setting myself an impossibly daunting challenge, but deep down, I know I could be happier, less frustrated, if I actually stuck to this.

To be fair, I haven't been doing so badly, and I've failed in less than I thought. But that said, I haven't lost a gram in weight, haven't had my hair cut, haven't been to bed before 4 am this week (and it's already 2 am as I type this)...

I'm trying. I really am. And I do so want to get stuff done. The office part of our main room is looking better because I have done a lot of work (even if it's far from finished) and it is, as a consequence, nicer to live in.

I'm hoping to build on this, continue the good work, keep going and make 40 the year I change into a grown-up, a real one, not just someone pretending.

Only 5 days to go, guys!

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