Christmas is almost here and we're off on holiday to my dad's house tomorrow (OK, we're actually going to SPAIN tomorrow because that's where we fly from, but we'll be in Scotland on Monday evening).
The girls are beyond excited, and I'm pleased with the presents D and I have got for them. Not so much for anyone else's presents, mainly because I haven't actually bought many... But there's time still.
I'm exhausted, of course, what with the school newspaper, and marking student exams and having shitloads of work (including a hilarious teaser for a film script) and laundry and what have you.
But most of all, I'm stressed. We have NO money. At all. And a small hill (not a mountain, really) of debt. D has officially given up his status as a freelance translator and will start looking for salaried work - any kind of work - as soon as we get home. I'm working as much as I can and hoping, hoping, hoping to get paid by a few people soon. D asked his bitch of a mother for a loan (not a gift, he said we'd pay interest and everything), she agreed on Friday (yesterday) and then refused today, just when it was too late to explain things to the guy at the bank, bla, bla, bla. The woman's a plague, a pain in the arse, a n°1 class bitch. We said we'd try and visit her in Paris in February, but, even if we do have the money, she can forget it. Totally forget it. And I really regret sending her a fucking present this morning, too.
So, yeah, money worries are worrying me half to death. My VAT cheque will be cashed on Monday or Tuesday, I owe 1600 € to the building supervisors for the roof, we pay 600 € a month for our two loans (the one we took out to pay for the roof, except that it got swallowed up in overdraft, and the one for the car, plus parking) and 700 € for the flat. On top of that, I have my social security, health and retirement contributions (all obligatory and hideously expensive), various taxes (income, land, inhabitance, professional), all the utilities (electricity, gas, mobile phone, private phone, professional phone, internet provider...), health insurance (more or less obligatory), food, school, petrol... I'm drowning, I really am. And sooooo, sooooo stressed.
Plus, I've even failed dear Cha Cha. I promised to put up photos of our Christmas decorations (such as they are) and haven't even managed that yet. But I'm working on it, I swear.
That said, I am excited about Christmas, about my little girl's 8th birthday, about going away. I know I'll manage to "forget" our woes for a while. I just hope 2010 is easier, that D finds work (even 1000 € a month would be good - it's the bare minimum wage more or less and would suit me perfectly, it really would!), that I can work less and that everything turns out OK.
Oh, yeah, and that I don't have to spend any time with my bitch of a mother-in-law...
MERRY CHRISTMAS ONE AND ALL!
And, if you're all really lucky, I might just get back to you with a couple of photos of our tree in all its "decorated-by-two-young-children-with-no-idea-about-harmony" glory...