Really back this time

You probably didn't notice (given how infrequently I've been posting recently) but I've been away again. But I'm back now. Really back.

The girls and I went on our first ever just-the-three-of-us holiday - a week in a very nice hotel in Bilbao. We didn't have fantastic weather (especially towards the end) but, living in the south of France, this wasn't really a problem (and it's roasting here). We did do a few nice things, though: we thoroughly enjoyed the fantastic Guggenheim museum, we had a nice, relaxing afternoon on the delightful Playa de la Magdalena in Santander (which is where the girls also experienced their first ever "pintxos" (or "tapas", as they're called in the rest of Spain), and we loved the aquarium in San Sebastian. The girls had a great time at the funfair very thoughtfully located just outside our hotel (really, just outside - we could almost touch it from our window), we went in the hotel pool, L made friends with all the waiters (C's way too shy for that - L's a total flirt), and we had dinner at Ikea twice because a) it was cheap b) we could walk to it from the hotel and c) it was the most reliable place for vegetables - Question: how come the Spanish seem to be excelling in just about every sport going when they don't ever seem to actually eat any vegetables except tomatoes? It's particularly mystifying given that there are plenty of shops and markets selling raw vegetables... I find it crazy that I had to go to Ikea to get gazpacho (good as it was)...

Since then, more of the usual back at Camp Magic. There was work piled up waiting for me, the flat is a total mess, the girls are going to bed far too late (and so am I) and this summer seems to be totally endless.

Things with D are difficult and tense, and it's all really getting me down. I'm in a total funk most of the time. It's only when the girls are here and I'm able to take the time to do things with them that I feel OK (we played board games yesterday, I took them to Toy Story 3 today, which I suspect I liked better than they did - I just loved Ken's fashion show!...). Our holiday was nice, but hard work - I feel like I didn't speak to a single adult (apart from hotel staff, restaurant staff, transport workers, museum staff...) for the entire week. I was in bed at the same time as them, ie about 10 pm, every night, and there were a number of occasions when they simply bugged the shit out of me. But there were plenty others where they were sweet and adorable and we did, truly, have a good time. It's just that it's hard being alone so much.

Sorry, I'm rambling, but I'm getting by on a diet of Diet Coke, 5 hours' sleep a night maximum and compulsive crap-on-TV-watching (this from someone who hasn't watched more than about 30 minutes of TV a day in 20 years).

I would love to know when it's all going to get better...