Fail

Yup, I failed. Didn't get to bed till 2.45 am, ate bonbons all morning (and made myself feel sick), got pretty much fuck all done today.

Total funk.

BUT. Did mention my heart's desire-for-a-birthday-present to D (a day at a spa place near where we'll be on holiday this summer), did get most of my tax forms done (not the main one, of course, but the smaller, easier ones. Plus the on-line declaration thing only doesn't work for me, so I'm pretty much fucked there too) and did do some work on the school newspaper (nearly printing time if I'm not mistaken), so not a total waste of time. Oh, and despite little sleep (in bed at 2.45, up at 7.30) I didn't go back to bed. What a hero.

And D started looking into cars (depressing business, but absolutely vital), and he's actually got some work to do, and the weather forecast no longer mentions storms and thunder, just rain, so maybe, just maybe, it'll all fizzle out and at least be dry for the party on Sunday, and bought L's main present - a Tinkerbell "computer" that she's been aching for since last year.

Still have a shitload of stuff to do, though.

And I'm totally motivationless at the moment. Can't be arsed to do anything. Feel fat and ugly, tired and dissatisfied, depressed and worried about money. Not to mention OLD.

With my MIL starting to get really nasty (last week, she and D had another row and she claimed that my father and I are a bad influence on him, that we're stifling his natural character and trying to transform him into "one of us" (which makes us sound like aliens when obviously we're not. Beep. Beep.) bla, bla, bla). All I can say is that I really hope I don't pick up the phone to her any time soon because I might just let rip - this woman is POISON and I've been too polite for too long. I feel that the time has come to get nasty right back.

Maybe this is the New Me - more candid, less conciliatory, more enflamed. More passionate, perhaps.

Anyway.

Day 16: I'm going to sort through all my clothes - four different piles: still wear, throw away, give away, keep but don't wear. And that last pile will go in plastic IKEA boxes down in the cellar. And then I'll really tidy up my wardrobe and drawers, so that I can find stuff when I want it and so that I can actually hang stuff up in the wardrobe. To be honest, I'm kind of embarrassed that I even have to write stuff like this - my guess is that to most people this is a total no-brainer. But mess is one of my middle names, and lazy is the other, so the result is heaps of stuff, badly folded, stuffed in drawers and on shelves, totally unfindable.

And please, keep praying that it won't rain on Sunday!