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lundi 20 septembre 2010

Yes

That's the answer to the question in my song-of-the-moment (yeah, still the same one):

Are you lonely looking for yourself out there?

The world can be such a lonely place, even when you're surrounded by people - good people, caring people. But not that one, special person you're aching for so very, very much.

And being a totally wretched parent (getting so annoyed with the girls because they don't listen that I end up saying horrible things to them (though they partially deserved the harsh words, it has to be said), things that scare them (although they shouldn't - they're both über sensitive) and leave them sobbing in their beds) really, really doesn't help. Total fail, all down the line today.

I feel so totally out of control right now.

The only place I feel at peace is asleep in my bed, my faithful feline curled up beside me.

Sounds like I'm heading for crazy-old-cat-lady status at breakneck speed, right?

3 commentaires:

Jamie a dit…

Hello from Oregon,USA. I found you via Bossy and just wanted to send you a hello/hug. I am truly sorry you're going through all of this; life is honestly trying and frustrating, and shitty sometimes! From another 40-something mommy (of two boys) please hang in there and know that somehow, you will not only survive but thrive. <3 Jamie

print girl ink a dit…

You are not alone. You will never be alone. Even though you feel this way, we readers hear you. Vent, get it all out. That's what we are here for. Things will get better, you know they will. Just take things one day at a time and slowly you will be yourself again... a much much stronger version of yourself.

Betsy a dit…

Wow. This all sounds still very raw and new. I am so glad you are writing. Though I will never claim to have gone through something as seemingly wrenching as the breaking up of a family, writing has gotten me through many rough times. Hold on. And forgive yourself for being human, even in front of your kids.