New Year's questionnaire (re- re-)

Sorry to have been MIA for so long - my ex has access to this blog (he found it on my computer before he moved out and has probably bookmarked it) and I've felt really awkward about writing here ever since. I'm not actually sure what to do with this blog - it WAS my private place to rant and moan about my life, but now I feel that I can't do it any more...

Anyway. I'll think of something, eventually.

In the meanwhile, here's my bright and cheery (that would be a surprise, wouldn't it?) review of this fantastic year. Such a shame you can't show irony in the written word...

I have the sneaking suspicion that this year's answers will have a little more substance than last year's pretty pathetic showing...

Thanks again to Linda for this...

1. What did you do in 2010 that you'd never done before?
On the trivial side, I made mince pies for the first time ever and they were pretty damn good. At a more serious level, this was the first year that I took the girls on holiday on my own (and I did it twice!)

2. Did you keep your new year's resolutions, and will you make more for next year?
I didn't really keep my resolutions because this year went so badly pear-shaped. As a result, I'll probably use them again for 2011 and hope I fare better

3. Did anyone close to you give birth?
YES! One of my very, very best friends had a little girl on 14 July, another close friend had a little girl on 2 August, and a friend through work with whom I get on well even though we rarely see each other had a little girl on 13 October

4. Did anyone close to you die?
Two of my neighbours died - the first was an elderly man (78) whom I didn't know particularly well, the second was a good friend who battled anorexia, cancer and depression before finally killing herself with hydrochloric acid, dying in early January. Very sad

5. What countries did you visit?
At the risk of sounding boring, England and Spain

6. What would you like to have in 2011 that you lacked in 2010?
This is easy - the love of a sane, intelligent, financially independent, funny, charming, sexy man

7. What dates from 2010 will remain etched upon your memory and why?
Another easy one: 01 May will always be the day my partner of 14 years finally walked out on me (having threatened to do so several times in the previous weeks), turning my entire world upsidedown

8. What was your biggest achievement of the year?
Surviving it

9. What was your biggest failure?
Not being a better mother and housekeeper

10. Did you suffer illness or injury?
Nothing except from horrendous allergies all the time, at their worst in February-March

11. What was the best thing you bought?
My new (laptop) computer

12. Whose behaviour merited celebration?
Can't think of anyone in particular

13. Whose behaviour made you appalled and depressed?
My ex on certain occasions - his behaviour (essentially his words, but on occasion his actions too) hurt me to the core, appalled me, shocked me and yes, made me very depressed. Not all the time, obviously, but yeah, all the same

14. Where did most of your money go?
Paying bills, social contributions, taxes, loans, household stuff - all very dull and boring

15. What did you get really, really, really excited about?
The thought of attending BlogHer in August 2011, though I doubt I'll have the courage

16. What song will always remind you of 2010?
Pat Monahan's "Great Escape" - I posted a video of him singing it live on Facebook and dedicated it to all those who have helped me survive this horrid year

17. Compared to this time last year, are you:
a) happier or sadder? Much, much sadder
b) thinner or fatter? About the same, I should think
c) richer or poorer? Also about the same - too in debt, anyway

18. What do you wish you'd done more of?
Seeing friends I really care about

19. What do you wish you'd done less of?
Crying - but it wasn't exactly by choice

20. How did you spend Christmas?
Christmas Eve I spent alone, wrapping presents, while the girls were with their dad and his mother (I was invited, but couldn't face the thought of it); Christmas Day morning the girls opened their presents with me, then spent the afternoon with their dad and had our Christmas meal with me in the evening. It wasn't a great Christmas, even if the girls seemed to enjoy it (which I suppose is the main thing)

21. Did you fall in love in 2010?
With an actual person I know personally? No
With a rock star who strikes me as the perfect man? Yes, totally

22. What was your favourite TV programme?
In France, I watched and enjoyed MasterChef for the first time; via iTunes and DVD, I watched and loved Glee

23. Do you hate anyone now that you didn't hate this time last year?
No (no, really - I don't hate my ex - we were together for 14 years for God's sake - but I DO hate what he's done to me, to us, to our daughters, our lives)

24. What was the best book you read?
I enjoyed Sebastian Faulks' "A Week in December"

25. What was your greatest musical discovery?
Hardly a discovery given that the band was formed in 1994 and has been having huge hits since 2001, but I didn't know Train or Pat Monahan before (though I had heard "Drops of Jupiter" and loved it, just didn't know who it was by) and have now become obsessed

26. What did you want and get?
I asked for Michael Bublé CDs and got two of them from my dad at Christmas; in 2009, for my 40th birthday, I asked for a spa day but never got it, then, this Christmas, my ex bizarrely gave me a weekend for two of spa treatments. No idea how he managed it, nor why he would give me such an extravagant gift in the current circumstances. So I'm perplexed and unsure of what to do, but yeah, I have a written IOU for it, so I suppose it's real...

27. What did you want and not get?
Love and affection

28. What was your favourite film of this year?
Didn't see many (certainly not grown-up films), but I really enjoyed "The Princess and the Frog"

29. What did you do on your birthday, and how old were you?
It was a crap, wretched day - my ex left me 17 days before, my daughters forgot and didn't wish me a happy birthday when they saw me in the morning, my ex did nothing to help/encourage them to do anything like make a card, my dad was here and I had to try and pretend all was hunky-dory so he wouldn't worry about me. The girls had lunch with my dad and me, but there was no cake, no singing, not much of anything, in fact. I turned 41 and it was most definitely a birthday to forget

30. What one thing would have made your year immeasurably more satisfying?
Being loved

31.How would you describe your personal fashion concept in 2010?
Doing the best I can with what I've got

32. What kept you sane?
Keeping in touch with friends via Facebook and knowing they care

33. Which celebrity/public figure did you fancy the most?
Pat Monahan

34. What political issue stirred you the most?
Politics rarely stirs me - I'm just not interested

35. Who did you miss?
My friends in England - I don't see them nearly often enough

36. Who was the best new person you met?
One of my colleagues at the university - Cathy. A lovely American woman

37. Tell us a valuable life lesson you learned in 2010
Just because you've shared your life in its entirety with someone for 14 years doesn't mean you can trust them or count on them - it can all go pear-shaped in the blink of an eye

38. Quote a song lyric that sums up your year
For once, this is easy: it's from Train's early hit, "Meet Virginia":
She pulls her hair back as she screams, "I don't really want to live this life!"

Here's to hoping that next year's questionnaire will be a little more upbeat! Happy 2011 to you all!