Rechercher dans ce blog

jeudi 3 mars 2011

Heart o' mine

Oh, my aching heart...

My babies are gone and my heart is sore. I know millions of other parents send their children off to stay with family, but WE never did. WE were always together. But now, WE is not. It is ME and HIM, so we holiday separately. And I find myself alone for 8 looooong days.

My heart, it does ache.

The flat feels so empty - no jumping about, no bickering, no singing, no laughing, no dancing, no whining, no complaining. Just the cat (thank God he remains) and me, tap-tap-tapping away on this keyboard.

They've only been gone for a few hours, and I miss them already. I'll sleep in their beds tonight (well, one tonight, and the other tomorrow), burying my face into the soft toys that remain, even though Winnie and Chameau and Lapin Jaune are gone, too.

Oh my heart, how it aches.

Will this pain ever subside? Will I ever get used to this "new" life? It's been almost a year (10 months, actually) and I'm still not used to it.

And my heart, which is so full of love for my babies, is so empty of love for a "special someone". As much as I love my girls, just as much I miss not being "in love" and "loved".

My heart aches, split in two: one part missing my sweet, beautiful, bright little girls, one part so lonely it might just stop beating altogether.

Heart o' mine, when will the aching stop?

Today's word is, unsurprisingly, HEART.

HEART. COEUR. CORAZON. CUORE. HERZ. It aches just as much in French, in Spanish, in Italian, in German. In any language, the pain is so intense, so real, I feel I cannot go on.

But I do go on, I have no choice. My girls need me.

1 commentaire:

HeyJoe a dit…

Sorry, kid. Hope life gets better. It can be difficult, I can attest.