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mercredi 23 mars 2011


Lack of sleep is a terrible, terrible thing. I was lucky when the girls were babies that it was often not me that got up in the middle of the night to tend to their needs (I did do it sometimes, of course, but I was working, D wasn't, so he did the lion's share). But now? Holy shit, I'm tired! From the moment I wake up in the morning to the sound of my alarm clock, to the minute I climb gratefully into bed at some ungodly hour, I fantasize about being horizontal, under the duvet, blissfully asleep.

I used to fantasize about having a man to hold me too, but right now, to be honest, I'm too damn tired to be able to cope with that. I just want to sleep. Sleeeeeeeppppp.

So why am I so tired? You know by now of course that it's got nothing to do with a wild social life (ha! ha! ha!). No, it's all to do with a totally, totally crazy ass March. Most months, I translate around 40,000 words and do a few hours of proofreading plus 8 hours of teaching a week. It's enough, more than enough (though maybe not financially - my debt levels are through the roof), and leaves me pretty tired as a rule.

This month? I already have on my books (not done yet, not all of it anyway, but scheduled and due in before the end of the month) OVER 70,000 WORDS. I have to do about 5,000 words tomorrow and Thursday and Friday and Saturday and Sunday just to make sure I make all my deadlines. Plus teach, too.

I'm not really complaining (well, OK, yes I am) because Lord knows I need the money and at least one of these gigs (24,000 words) is mega-well-paid, and paid quickly, and VAT free. But I feel like I'm drowning, that I'm flailing helplessly in a sea of Things To Do, woefully lacking in Time To Them.

And all I really want to do is sleeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep.

1 commentaire:

Swistle a dit…

That really does sound exhausting. It sounds like one of the stories in a Maeve Binchy book: struggling young mother/translator, two young girls, unstable ex... By the end of the book there would be a good man, shorter and more pleasant work hours, and a resolution to the ex's issues.