Plus ça change...

So, here we are at the end of the second day of the new year already...

It's a good job I didn't really make any resolutions, as all the things that would probably have been on the list have already gone down the toilet...

Viz: it's 2.44 am, I'm not in bed, I'm still working, I got up at midday today and I am, as I type, eating my way through a pack of sweets I don't really like just because they're there. I've done nothing even remotely resembling exercise (and am unlikely to do anthing about that till my Tai chi class starts up again on Thursday) and have eaten vast amounts of food over the holidays.

Oh, and I've been pretty snarky and impatient with the girls on occasion, too.

"Wife"* and Mother of the Year and it's only 3 January.

Don't know how I do it, I really don't.

But tomorrow we're going to Mare Nostrum, Montpellier's funky new aquarium (complete with simulated boat-in-a-storm, plus real sharks and penguins!), and on Sunday friends (one of whom is the girls' godfather) are coming round to celebrate C's birthday a week late because they've been away. So I'm not down in the dumps or anything, just somewhat disgusted that I can't even take advantage of the new year to change my stupid ways.

Oh, and the text I'm translating right now is so hard, so dull and so obscure (something to do with safety testing in a nuclear power plant, but I'll be damned if I've understood any more than that) that I just want to send it back to my client and say "sorry, I can't be arsed to do this one, hope you find someone else to translate your 12,000 words by 7 January!", even though I know I won't do that and will stay up till dawn trying to finish the damn thing.

It also looks like the new year hasn't brought an end to my hopelessly long and complex sentences either!

Anyway, I hope your 2009 has got off to a rocking good start and that it continues in the same fashion till 31 December!

* Of course, D and I aren't married, though we've been "together" (including during a very rough first year) since April 1996, which is so long it's kind of scary. Especially when you compute in what my "love life" was like before that (a scarce few, mostly depressing, one-night-stands, lots of unrequited love), but that's a whole different story!

You'll all be glad to know that HRF (His Royal Felineness) Tom is back to his old tricks - lots of sleeping, lots of optimism regarding food (ie, every time anyone goes into the kitchen, he follows and miaows pathetically, though obviously he's often disappointed). I'm so relieved! Of course, he won't let me look at his mouth and the antibiotic-in-the-morning gag is well, let's just say it's "fun" and leave it at that.

Apart from that, this is set to be a tough weekend - D's gone to Paris and I'm on my own. I know it's only a weekend, and the girls are hardly babies (C will be 7 in 3 weeks, L is more than 4 and a half), and that millions of single-parents do this ALL THE TIME (oh, how I admire you guys!). But I'm not used to it, and I have a shitload of stuff to do, and I'd really like to sleep for say, two whole days...

BUT. For once, for the first time since God knows when, I don't actually have any WORK to do this weekend. Well, I have translation exams to mark for my students, but only 11, and there's no rush (yet), so I'm choosing to ignore that.

So perhaps I can get other stuff done: this evening, I made 5 (yes! 5!) Christmas tree decorations for the school Christmas market (and yes, I promised 20, plus 50 truffles and possibly 20 gifts tags too. And yes, I'm totally OUT OF MY TINY). And I made a cake (lemon! with green lime frosting! with coconut "snow" on top! to make it look Christmassy!) this evening for an end-of-term-type thing tomorrow lunchtime.

Oh, and I also ate a lot of crisps and - just to complete my healthy campaign - a lot of truffles (not homemade, a "free gift" I got with some mail order stuff I picked up today). And now I feel really, really sick.

And it's 2.45 am and I still have to clean the kitchen and get everything ready for tomorrow morning (up at 7.30!).

As I said, this could definitely be a tough weekend.

Yet for some reason, I'm kind of looking forward to it!

Happy weekend, everyone!

So exciting!

Can't believe it! It's not even 1 am and I am really not far away from going to bed! I won't have been to bed this early in weeks, if not months! (Though to be fair, I'm not actually in bed yet...)

Progress!

And tomorrow is my Tai Chi class. And I weighed myself last night and I've somehow managed to lose 4 kg WITHOUT EVEN TRYING (except wishful thinking as I chow down on yet more crap at 2 am).

Beautiful times, people, these are beautiful times!

Despite my "new me" gig (which doesn't actually seem to be going very well, it must be said), I feel very much like some kind of fat, ugly blimp right now.
And when I feel like that, all I want to do is eat crap.
I managed to eat my way through a shitload of sweets this afternoon, but have been moderately reasonable this evening (though only because I don't have any more crap to eat).
And, to further complete my wallowing, I've been listening to "my" music - the stuff D mainly thinks of as garbage (though I don't necessarily think much of all his music tastes either). I've played my Neil Diamond Greatest Hits CD, my Cyndi Lauper Greatest Hits CD and would have played Shirley Bassey too if D and the girls hadn't come home...
Don't really know what's brought all this on... Sure, my hair is APPALLING: I truly look like either a witch (hair down) or one of the backing singers from Robert Palmer's famous video (though redhead, not black, and without the fab figure too, of course). I'm muffin-topping like crazy (all that chocolate, natch), I haven't done my legs in weeks, my nails are a mess, my teeth are as hideous as ever...
But the girls were generally well-behaved today, and mostly pretty cute... Not that I did any tidying up to speak of, of course, but the plans are there, oh, yes, the plans... I know exactly what I plan to do!
I guess I should just stop moaning, go and eat the bowl of chocolate cereal I've been fantasising about and get my fat arse to bed!
Tomorrow is another day, as they say, and I'm hoping to get some tidying done!

Gratuitous photos

Well, I'm still pissed off that I've fucked up NaBloPoMo - it really isn't a hard thing to do and yet I managed to fuck up after only 9 days... Pathetic.

And I've eaten another shitload of chocolate (not to mention the crackers and marmalade earlier on) this evening so I feel sick all over again. Even more pathetic.

BUT:

I've sort of started tidying up the crap heaped up behind my desk (haven't got very far, of course, but at least I've started... and the heap has been there for around 2 years, after all!) and intend to take advantage of the rain promised for tomorrow to KEEP GOING and maybe even get things looking presentable in at least 10% of this flat. Woohoo!

AND:

As I said to Busted yesterday, here are some gratuitous pictures of my wonderful (but slightly chubby) cat, Tom. He really is an exceptional feline: to start with, he has an exceptional appetite and would/could probably eat his bodyweight in croquettes every day if given the chance. But better than that, he's amazingly affectionate, highly sensitive to mood and state of mind, fun-loving and playful even at the advanced age of 11 and a half and, oh, just an all-round purrfect cat! Not that I'm biased, or anything...

Just look at the intelligent, thoughtful pose...

...and that lean, svelte body...(OK, not so much - but oh, soooo fluffy and soft!)

...and finally, the brooding film star look...!

Christmas is coming!

No progress as yet on the "staying at home"/"visiting my dreaded MIL in her tiny flat in Paris" saga - D is actually just not phoning her at all - but we did something today that is truly Christmassy...

We checked out (potential) presents!

We went to our local Décathlon (a huge sports chain) and sussed out which bikes the girls would like - a bright pink "Princess" 16" job for L and a purpley-pink 20" version for C, which is a little awkward as C (despite being nearly 7) can't actually ride a bike without stabilisers and of course the 20" versions don't come with stabilisers. But we're hopeful the motivation will carry her through...

And we are seriously thinking about buying an exercise bike (all electronic and flash) for ourselves. I admit that it's not quite the present I would have thought of for myself, but D's really keen and suggested we get it for each other from each other. So I'm seeing it as part of the "new me": if I do the recommended minimum of 30 minutes twice a week, I'll be doing 2 hours of sport a week (I have a one-hour Tai Chi class too), which is more than I've done since high school.

And I've even stuck to NaBloPoMo, too (so far, anyway, though I doubt anyone's keeping tabs).

A New Me, indeed.

Now I just need to cut back on the crap I eat (oh, those midnight munchies!), which could be tough with CHRISTMAS just around the corner... But I'm just going to keep up my mantra "New Me", "New Me", "New Me"...

Mirror, mirror

The mind is a strange thing... And a bloody sneaky thing, too, sometimes...
This afternoon, I caught a glimpse of myself in the bathroom mirror (yes, I usually try to avoid it) and HOLY GUACAMOLE barely recognised myself.
I AM OLD, people. SERIOUSLY OLD.
And you can tell.
In my mind, I usually reckon I look just about OK. Nothing special, but OK. And then I see myself and realise that I actually spend most of my time looking like an alien-witch with wild, uncontrollable hair, hopeless skin (no zits, just very white) and clothes that probably don't suit me half as much as I think they do.
No wonder D rarely compliments me. No wonder, either, that the only comparisons he makes of me to someone famous are so unflattering.
You know, "Nicole Kidman", or "Julieanne Moore" would be nice (people you could realistically say "look like me" even if it would still be a HUGE stretch of the imagination - obviously, I'd quite like "Angelina Jolie" or "Monica Bellucci", too, but that's just impossible). Instead, I get "Winston Churchill" (may have been a great wartime leader, but he certainly wasn't known for his dashing good looks. And he was a MAN) or "Louis XIV" (another MAN).
Do I really look like these two MEN? I don't think so. I think it's just an indictment of what D really thinks of me (probably not very much most of the time).
That said, I was horrified by my appearance today (though I still refuse to believe I look like a man). My hair! My teeth! My legs (once so shapely)! My weight (not fat, but definitely a) fatter than before and b) fatter than I'd like)!
And summer's around the corner, with all THAT implies (bare legs, short sleeves, SWIMSUITS God help me).
I'm not sure what to do.
I guess not going to bed at 3 am would be a good idea, and probably eating less cr*p would help, too.
But you know, it's just not that easy. It's 2.20 am already (so 3 am looks like a reality once again) and I'm just aching to go and chow down on a bowl of cereal or something.
Those dreaded Midnight Munchies.
Then, all I have to do is go brush my teeth without catching sight of myself in that treacherous bathroom mirror. Perhaps, that way, I'll manage to get to sleep believing I look cute and sexy in my flannel pyjamas!
Now, where did I put those chocolate biscuits...