It is now, technically (here in France, anyway) my birthday. I am 42 years old. This is a number that actually doesn't scare me - in fact, it makes me think of Douglas Adams' Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy (a book that I read many, many times as a teenager) in which we learn (thanks to the computer Deep Thought and it's 7.5 million years of cogitation) that the Answer to the Ultimate Question of Life, the Universe and Everything is 42. Unfortunately, the Question itself has been lost (God, I loved this book...)...
There was also, once, a lifetime ago, a British band called Level 42 (named after the aforementioned Answer), and they were the very first band I ever saw play live. Check them out (this was one of their biggest hits). How's that for useless information?
So, yeah. Turning 42 just doesn't have the negative feel to it that, say, turning 40 had. Except of course that it means I'm another year older.
And still single.
And still broke.
And still staying up ridiculously late every night and fucking up my days as a result.
As for today, well, the "plans" I had have mainly gone down the toilet: I was going to do a roast chicken for lunch (a popular - and rare - occurrence chez Magic) and then the girls were going to make a cake for me, all by themselves. Of course, my oven broke irredeemably on Sunday night, so I bought a new one on line and paid a small fortune for a rush-job delivery, promised today (17th) before 1 pm.
It didn't come.
And the asshole delivery guy put "doesn't live at this address" as the reason. Which is, of course, total and utter crap. I was here till 2.30 pm and they didn't come. I phoned up the place I bought the oven from, complained long and loud, and have been promised it'll come tomorrow. But that's too late - I'll be out quite a bit of the day (it's a WEDNESDAY, which means no-school-and-lots-of-activities for the girls) so you can bet it'll come when we're not home. And even if it comes when we ARE here, there'll be no time for roasting chickens or baking cakes. So that'll be my 2nd birthday in a row with no cake (that makes me sound so childish, I know. But come on. It's my BIRTHDAY. I want a CAKE. I was even willing to make one myself, but now can't. Sniffle).
My new "plan" is to go out for lunch, but we don't have much time, what with one activity finishing at 11, then homework, and the next starting at 2, but it should be possible.
At least this year I know the girls haven't forgotten, despite their attempts at subterfuge with D this evening.
I'm pretty sure this birthday will be better than last year's. I'm certainly in a better place, personally. I'm stronger, more confident, more resilient, more at peace. That doesn't mean life is good, exactly, and I do remain more lonely than I could ever imagine possible, but I'm starting to come back to life a little.
Happy Birthday to Me!
Affichage des articles dont le libellé est birthday. Afficher tous les articles
Affichage des articles dont le libellé est birthday. Afficher tous les articles
mercredi 18 mai 2011
mardi 17 mai 2011
Les mouches des temps
Wow. It's already the middle of May... I'm struggling to come to terms with the idea that in just a few hours (on Wednesday, in fact), I will be turning 42. My God that sounds old. Yet it's strange, I don't necessarily FEEL particularly old (though Lord knows I look it).
I'm hoping my birthday will be a little less craptastic than last year. I mean, I know it's not going to be anything wild, but hopefully it won't leave me a jibbering wreck of misery, sobbing silently into my pillow so that my Dad could remain in blissful ignorance of my nightmare life... At least this year, the girls are aware of my upcoming birthday and even know what day it is, so that's a start. And, if my new worktop oven arrives tomorrow as it's supposed to, then I might even get a cake and candles this year...
With regards to presents, I've mainly bought myself stuff. First, I bought the aforementioned oven, but that's not exactly the gift that's going to make my eyes shine. It's more that the old one just died and I can't cope for long without an oven.
More excitingly (for me, anyway), I bought myself a small, white, metal table and two matching stools for the balcony (all very cheap from IKEA), so the girls and I can sit outside and have meals over the summer; I have also bought (but not yet received, oh, the suspense is killing me!) three potentially lovely things from Cath Kidston:
First of all, this adorable dress:
Yes, it's most likely the most expensive single item of clothing I've ever bought, but it looks adorable to me and I'm hoping it will succeed where so many other clothes have failed and make ME look adorable too.
Then I bought enough of this material to make a tablecloth and matching napkins for my new balcony table:
And, finally, I bought myself this stationery box set too, because I am weak and frivolous when it comes to a) Cath Kidston stuff b) Amazon and c) CK bargains on Amazon.
So, all in all, a pretty good set of presents. I'm very pleased! After that, I'm not bothered if I don't get any more gifts at all - even though I received two packages, one from my Dad and the other from one of my best friends, M, this morning. This birthday already feels better than last year's!
I've also been trying to get my act together: my Dad installed the wall lights that have been languishing in a cupboard for almost 2 years (D was a seriously unenthusiastic DIY guy), I installed the TV box thingamajig without a hitch, and I'm intending to get to work on clearing this place of D's stuff as soon as I have a minute to breathe. I think I'll feel better when all his stuff has gone, once and for all - clothes, books, papers, CDs, DVDs, all kinds of stuff. I want it all gone; that way, there'll be more space for tidying up the mess that has accumulated.
Being 41 wasn't a particularly happy time for me - one of the worst years of my life, to be honest - so I have hopes for 42. I'm trying not to be too optimistic (that's hardly in my nature now, is it?), but just a little, tiny bit hopeful.
I'm hoping my birthday will be a little less craptastic than last year. I mean, I know it's not going to be anything wild, but hopefully it won't leave me a jibbering wreck of misery, sobbing silently into my pillow so that my Dad could remain in blissful ignorance of my nightmare life... At least this year, the girls are aware of my upcoming birthday and even know what day it is, so that's a start. And, if my new worktop oven arrives tomorrow as it's supposed to, then I might even get a cake and candles this year...
With regards to presents, I've mainly bought myself stuff. First, I bought the aforementioned oven, but that's not exactly the gift that's going to make my eyes shine. It's more that the old one just died and I can't cope for long without an oven.
More excitingly (for me, anyway), I bought myself a small, white, metal table and two matching stools for the balcony (all very cheap from IKEA), so the girls and I can sit outside and have meals over the summer; I have also bought (but not yet received, oh, the suspense is killing me!) three potentially lovely things from Cath Kidston:
First of all, this adorable dress:
Yes, it's most likely the most expensive single item of clothing I've ever bought, but it looks adorable to me and I'm hoping it will succeed where so many other clothes have failed and make ME look adorable too.
Then I bought enough of this material to make a tablecloth and matching napkins for my new balcony table:
And, finally, I bought myself this stationery box set too, because I am weak and frivolous when it comes to a) Cath Kidston stuff b) Amazon and c) CK bargains on Amazon.
So, all in all, a pretty good set of presents. I'm very pleased! After that, I'm not bothered if I don't get any more gifts at all - even though I received two packages, one from my Dad and the other from one of my best friends, M, this morning. This birthday already feels better than last year's!
I've also been trying to get my act together: my Dad installed the wall lights that have been languishing in a cupboard for almost 2 years (D was a seriously unenthusiastic DIY guy), I installed the TV box thingamajig without a hitch, and I'm intending to get to work on clearing this place of D's stuff as soon as I have a minute to breathe. I think I'll feel better when all his stuff has gone, once and for all - clothes, books, papers, CDs, DVDs, all kinds of stuff. I want it all gone; that way, there'll be more space for tidying up the mess that has accumulated.
Being 41 wasn't a particularly happy time for me - one of the worst years of my life, to be honest - so I have hopes for 42. I'm trying not to be too optimistic (that's hardly in my nature now, is it?), but just a little, tiny bit hopeful.
dimanche 17 mai 2009
On the verge...
...of a new decade.
Technically, it's going to be my birthday in precisely one minute (oops, no, the clock on my computer's just changed... Happy Birthday to me!), though in real terms the "main event" was actually today.
D tried to organise a surprise "party", and succeeded up to a point, except that today is Sunday (which means that just about everything's shut here in France) so he had to admit yesterday that a couple of friends and their son would be coming to lunch. Which was true. But what he did manage to keep secret was the various other friends and neighbours who popped in in the course of the afternoon.
I was thoroughly spoiled (two (very different) bouquets of flowers, a plant, a little bag, a wooden cat, a pair of pearl earrings), D. put together a lovely lunch and bought a fabulous cake, the girls had fun (even though they had to go to another party half way through) and I was delighted to have so many people come to wish me well for my birthday. I feel very lucky!
Of course, I'm pretty behind in my challenge, but just in case you've all been losing sleep, here are the last 4 anyway:
Day 37: Very boringly, sort out my (hundreds) of credit card receipts.
Day 38: Put our crockery and cutlery in order (so many different sets, all free gifts from mail order catalogues, some nice, some not...).
Day 39: Take more photos, document our life a little more, a little better. For the girls' future.
Day 40: Try and enjoy myself more, let myself go a little, go out, have fun, see friends, go to the cinema. Live my life!
That's it for now, but I'll try and be back later today with more thoughts on turning 40, leaving my 30s behind and what have you.
Technically, it's going to be my birthday in precisely one minute (oops, no, the clock on my computer's just changed... Happy Birthday to me!), though in real terms the "main event" was actually today.
D tried to organise a surprise "party", and succeeded up to a point, except that today is Sunday (which means that just about everything's shut here in France) so he had to admit yesterday that a couple of friends and their son would be coming to lunch. Which was true. But what he did manage to keep secret was the various other friends and neighbours who popped in in the course of the afternoon.
I was thoroughly spoiled (two (very different) bouquets of flowers, a plant, a little bag, a wooden cat, a pair of pearl earrings), D. put together a lovely lunch and bought a fabulous cake, the girls had fun (even though they had to go to another party half way through) and I was delighted to have so many people come to wish me well for my birthday. I feel very lucky!
Of course, I'm pretty behind in my challenge, but just in case you've all been losing sleep, here are the last 4 anyway:
Day 37: Very boringly, sort out my (hundreds) of credit card receipts.
Day 38: Put our crockery and cutlery in order (so many different sets, all free gifts from mail order catalogues, some nice, some not...).
Day 39: Take more photos, document our life a little more, a little better. For the girls' future.
Day 40: Try and enjoy myself more, let myself go a little, go out, have fun, see friends, go to the cinema. Live my life!
That's it for now, but I'll try and be back later today with more thoughts on turning 40, leaving my 30s behind and what have you.
mardi 28 avril 2009
My baby
Yeah, so I've been really crap about posting and keeping up to date regarding my challenge.
BUT.
My baby girl. My little baby girl, my little rabbit, my littlest Smurflet... She turned 5 today and is now suddenly all grown up.
I'm absolutely not getting broody for another baby, I swear.
But still. My baby. Is 5. I've even been bumped up to the "Big Kid newsletter" from Baby Center.
I think we celebrated L's 5th birthday pretty well. Yeah, OK, Sunday was the only day it has rained (poured even!) in the last 2 weeks, so our plans to have fun at a nice park we know went (quite literally) down the (flood) drains.
Which meant a MAJOR tidy up at our place (haven't seen the place look this good since before we moved in 3 years ago!).
But in other ways it was quite practical having to do the party at home - no transportation problems (still don't have a car and the person who offered to help out had to pull out the day before because her little girl was too ill to come to the party), easier to coordinate, etc.
There were 16 kids in total (11 girls, 5 boys), and, compared to C's wild 7th birthday party in January (with only 9 girls), this one was a breeze. The kids were well behaved, seemed to have a lot of fun yet remained reasonably calm and collected, they nearly all ate their cake, those that asked for strawberries ate them very nicely, there was very little crying, no major accidents... IT WAS A GOOD PARTY!
And L got given such beautiful presents! She's such a lucky little girl, she really is!
Then, today (her actual birthday), she got a small present from us this morning, then, for the first time ever, we picked her and C up from school at 11.45 along with 2 friends (one for each, but sisters) who couldn't come yesterday and had a little lunch party, with L's favourite food (roast chicken, sauté potatoes, green beans, then strawberries). Back at school in the afternoon, there was cake and juice and candles and singing, and then, finally, after school, we came home, opened her presents from us (she LOVES her Tinkerbell computer!), C, Papy, my dear friend M and my cousins, had a nice dinner and yet another cake with candles.
And as the weather was fabulous (of course), she even got to wear her beloved pretty dress.
I'm waaaay behind with my work (not only have I had multiple birthday preparations to take care of, but I'm also up to my eyeballs in the school newspaper and have just got myself involved in the organisation team for the school end of year fête) and haven't done much about my Challenge (but, alternatively, haven't had much time to break it either, as a result, unless you count a much-needed Egg McMuffin on Saturday morning).
However, I haven't abandoned it altogether, especially as today is exactly 3 weeks till my birthday.
So.
Day 16: I'm going to get some nice pictures (we have quite a few) up on the walls at last.
Day 17: I also want to try and get the girls' room decorated once and for all - though almost certainly not before my birthday, this will probably have to be during the summer.
Day 18: I want to try and read some less trashy books, less gory books.
Day 19: I want to get all the remaining kit furniture put together and put to use...
Day 20: ...Following on from Day 19, I want to sort out the CD collection for the "new" CD shelf so we can actually find stuff at last.
Now, it's 12.36 am, my head is aching, I feel strangely sick (possibly overdosed in sweetness from the 5 cakes I've made since Saturday night, even though I've actually eaten very little of it) and I'm aching to go to bed for a week. But there's not much chance of that: have a text to finish tonight, have to prepare the girls' stuff for tomorrow, have to take them to school tomorrow and then spend most of the day printing, folding, assembling and delivering the school newspaper an then most of the evening working like a slave.
Oh, and my tax forms still aren't done and sent out because the extranet link doesn't work.
Could I be any more tired? Really, could I?
BUT.
My baby girl. My little baby girl, my little rabbit, my littlest Smurflet... She turned 5 today and is now suddenly all grown up.
I'm absolutely not getting broody for another baby, I swear.
But still. My baby. Is 5. I've even been bumped up to the "Big Kid newsletter" from Baby Center.
I think we celebrated L's 5th birthday pretty well. Yeah, OK, Sunday was the only day it has rained (poured even!) in the last 2 weeks, so our plans to have fun at a nice park we know went (quite literally) down the (flood) drains.
Which meant a MAJOR tidy up at our place (haven't seen the place look this good since before we moved in 3 years ago!).
But in other ways it was quite practical having to do the party at home - no transportation problems (still don't have a car and the person who offered to help out had to pull out the day before because her little girl was too ill to come to the party), easier to coordinate, etc.
There were 16 kids in total (11 girls, 5 boys), and, compared to C's wild 7th birthday party in January (with only 9 girls), this one was a breeze. The kids were well behaved, seemed to have a lot of fun yet remained reasonably calm and collected, they nearly all ate their cake, those that asked for strawberries ate them very nicely, there was very little crying, no major accidents... IT WAS A GOOD PARTY!
And L got given such beautiful presents! She's such a lucky little girl, she really is!
Then, today (her actual birthday), she got a small present from us this morning, then, for the first time ever, we picked her and C up from school at 11.45 along with 2 friends (one for each, but sisters) who couldn't come yesterday and had a little lunch party, with L's favourite food (roast chicken, sauté potatoes, green beans, then strawberries). Back at school in the afternoon, there was cake and juice and candles and singing, and then, finally, after school, we came home, opened her presents from us (she LOVES her Tinkerbell computer!), C, Papy, my dear friend M and my cousins, had a nice dinner and yet another cake with candles.
And as the weather was fabulous (of course), she even got to wear her beloved pretty dress.
I'm waaaay behind with my work (not only have I had multiple birthday preparations to take care of, but I'm also up to my eyeballs in the school newspaper and have just got myself involved in the organisation team for the school end of year fête) and haven't done much about my Challenge (but, alternatively, haven't had much time to break it either, as a result, unless you count a much-needed Egg McMuffin on Saturday morning).
However, I haven't abandoned it altogether, especially as today is exactly 3 weeks till my birthday.
So.
Day 16: I'm going to get some nice pictures (we have quite a few) up on the walls at last.
Day 17: I also want to try and get the girls' room decorated once and for all - though almost certainly not before my birthday, this will probably have to be during the summer.
Day 18: I want to try and read some less trashy books, less gory books.
Day 19: I want to get all the remaining kit furniture put together and put to use...
Day 20: ...Following on from Day 19, I want to sort out the CD collection for the "new" CD shelf so we can actually find stuff at last.
Now, it's 12.36 am, my head is aching, I feel strangely sick (possibly overdosed in sweetness from the 5 cakes I've made since Saturday night, even though I've actually eaten very little of it) and I'm aching to go to bed for a week. But there's not much chance of that: have a text to finish tonight, have to prepare the girls' stuff for tomorrow, have to take them to school tomorrow and then spend most of the day printing, folding, assembling and delivering the school newspaper an then most of the evening working like a slave.
Oh, and my tax forms still aren't done and sent out because the extranet link doesn't work.
Could I be any more tired? Really, could I?
lundi 12 janvier 2009
Where to start?
Wow. Since I dropped off the NaBloPoMo radar at the end of December, I've really let this blog dwindle to nothing...
Which is totally crap given that we had a hectic weekend (C's 7th birthday party with her school friends! Meaning 9 rampaging little girls for a verrrrry long 2-hour bash in our flat! Meaning hours of tidying up and preparation! Also meaning baking 2 more birthday cakes! And oh, the fatigue once it was all over!).
But well.
It's late (though that's hardly a scoop, is it?), and I still have a shitload of work to do (and I won't have much time tomorrow - want to hit the sales again in the morning, then I'm in a meeting all afternoon for the school newspaper), and I haven't made porridge for weeeeeeks now and I'm in withdrawal.
So, instead, I'm letting you all in on this: Delurking Day! Now yes, I know, there are probably thousands of you checking out my fascinating blog on a daily basis (daily? Who'm I kidding? HOURLY basis) without ever leaving a comment... BUT TODAY IS DIFFERENT. This is your chance, people, to make my little lonely heart light up with delight...
So come on down, say hello!
Hello!
Which is totally crap given that we had a hectic weekend (C's 7th birthday party with her school friends! Meaning 9 rampaging little girls for a verrrrry long 2-hour bash in our flat! Meaning hours of tidying up and preparation! Also meaning baking 2 more birthday cakes! And oh, the fatigue once it was all over!).
But well.
It's late (though that's hardly a scoop, is it?), and I still have a shitload of work to do (and I won't have much time tomorrow - want to hit the sales again in the morning, then I'm in a meeting all afternoon for the school newspaper), and I haven't made porridge for weeeeeeks now and I'm in withdrawal.
So, instead, I'm letting you all in on this: Delurking Day! Now yes, I know, there are probably thousands of you checking out my fascinating blog on a daily basis (daily? Who'm I kidding? HOURLY basis) without ever leaving a comment... BUT TODAY IS DIFFERENT. This is your chance, people, to make my little lonely heart light up with delight...
So come on down, say hello!
Hello!
samedi 27 décembre 2008
7
Today my baby girl, C, turned 7 years old. It's such a cliché to say that time goes quickly and that kids grow up too fast, and as far as I'm concerned it's not exactly true. I DON'T feel like she was only born yesterday; it's more the opposite: I can barely imagine a time when she wasn't here... And the baby period seemed to last forever - I much prefer the ages my daughters are now...
Yet 7 is still pretty small, even if she does suddenly seem so very big and mature all of a sudden. There's so much she can do by herself (though not ride a bike of course - that trauma is yet to come), so much she can understand... She's still a little girl, but also a big girl...
And I love her more than life itself.
I hope she had a fun day - it wasn't much of a party (only 2 guests as so many friends are away for the holidays), but she seemed to enjoy it, and we had her favourite lunch (roast chicken and pasta), and she got lovely presents, and she looked beautiful...
7 years old - I remember the day I turned 7, too. Way back when (1976, if you're interested). I received a three-book set of Flower Fairy poems from my parents, and I was thrilled. And I showed C that very same set this morning - she was stunned that it belonged to me way back when. Maybe one day she'll show it to her own daughter on her 7th birthday...
I hope she'll remember these good times, the fun, the love.
And I hope she enjoys being 7.
Happy Birthday, sweet girl!
Yet 7 is still pretty small, even if she does suddenly seem so very big and mature all of a sudden. There's so much she can do by herself (though not ride a bike of course - that trauma is yet to come), so much she can understand... She's still a little girl, but also a big girl...
And I love her more than life itself.
I hope she had a fun day - it wasn't much of a party (only 2 guests as so many friends are away for the holidays), but she seemed to enjoy it, and we had her favourite lunch (roast chicken and pasta), and she got lovely presents, and she looked beautiful...
7 years old - I remember the day I turned 7, too. Way back when (1976, if you're interested). I received a three-book set of Flower Fairy poems from my parents, and I was thrilled. And I showed C that very same set this morning - she was stunned that it belonged to me way back when. Maybe one day she'll show it to her own daughter on her 7th birthday...
I hope she'll remember these good times, the fun, the love.
And I hope she enjoys being 7.
Happy Birthday, sweet girl!
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